Prosaic as i am,Tatty as i dealt,Indignation as i felt, and this is how i yelled...

Tots & more Tots. .


Hmm, it’s been over more than 4 mths since I’ve last updated here. .

I’ve promised DD not to update here. As he felt that E would read my blog and that we’ll communicate through here. .


Well, from my point of view, I dun really think that E will read my blog anymore.

Cos he hates me to the core. Anyway, I’m just voicing out my point of views here…


Recently, I’ve been trying hard to search my lost-self back. . haaa . . Dumped more than half of my closet clothes away. . Not jus that, bought new lingerie & clothes…

I simply can’t bring myself to look at all those stuffs. .

I wonder why would wearing a little more revealing makes 1 looks cheap. . Like a slut. .

However, I would rather hear that I’m fat and I dun look nice in it. .

It sounds more reliving. . I loathe being in someone clutches again. . DD is encouraging, I kept wearing skirt nowadays, hee hee, I noe that my tighs are fleshy but I like to wear skirt de. . tsk tsk tsk. Haa haa DD is not that domineering. . I’ll cross my fingers and hope he’ll never become one.


My sister said that I’m trying way too hard to return to my Old-self. . I know that I should not push myself too hard. . But I’m just too eager to do that. . haa haa. .Dunno why, but I kept having this feeling that that everyone ard me are so successful, they own this & that, their life is splendid. . Somehow, they are doing well except for me. . I felt sheaty again. . I wanna accomplish so much. . so many goals and dreams I have. . They simply got lost in time & money is another problem. . It’s seems so far away. . when will I ever make it ? But now & then I’ll always remind myself: when there’s a will, there’s always a way . . haa haa . . Have Faith & Hope. . . those are the stuffs that will get us going =)


So past few mths was great, picking up on Mahjong. . hee hee.. that is the only communication tools in our family now.. Usually it’ll be DD, my sis, my bro & me . . but but but, now my Mum also joins in the FUN !!! haa haa.. the only time in my life we’ll chat and not shout at each other.. it’s a nice feeling..

Haa haa.. it’s Fabulous to see that my bf actually gets along well with my family. . I’m so so happy. . . o ya, talking abt mahjong session, recalled that 1 day while they are playing, I was online. I happened to came across E’s pic.. His main pic was taken with another girl. . Quite young looking, tanned and with Bugs teeth.. cute & young lo.. she looks bubbly too, well, somehow reminds me of Nig’s Gf:Hazel. It got me in real bad mood, I dunno how it actually felt. ... but luckily, I woke up, I noe he’s no longer mine. I shld let go. I will let go cos I was the wan who let him go.

I Guess this girl is his target now.. Hmm, she seems quite playful le. Not very matured. . Hmm, if my memory never fails me, I once saw his pic with his colleague and a girl: Galina. . I felt that Galina suits him more.. simple and matured plus quite pretty . . aiyoyo, he always seems to be more interested in playful girls.. hee hee.. or maybe it’s becos she looks abit like Hazel ? dunno, he did mentioned Hazel is a nice girl, matured and pretty too.. I dunno him.. jus wish him all the best lo.. it’s been almost 6 mths since we’ve broke up. . I know that the pain wun heal that fast. .or perhaps never. . but still the same old words: only time will heal it all. I too must confessed that I still miss and think of him. . Basically he was once my Love one. . in addition, we’ve been together for 6 yrs. . that makes him real hard to forget. . but so far, I’m doing well, think the last time I’ve called him is ard July. . eve shouts: “Way to go girl !” haa haa. . . Nowadays, when I think of him, it’ll reminds me of all the sweet things, instead of the awfuls stuffs which I hate. I felt that I was so bad last time, I’ve said plenty of hurtful stuffs which I never meant to cause him pain. I wonder if he scarred.. most likely is yes. Cos I can be real evil.. haa haa… I’ll never Deny. . haa haa . . I felt sorry le. I really feel very bad le.. I should not be that evil le. . sigh. . it’s really bad of me. . Sorry Man. .


“”snaps”” there’s no point thinking and wonder too there’s nothing I can do. .


Woo hoo… haa haa. . must keep thinking that I’m in a bliss now haa haa.. DD is all that I’ve ever wanted.. he’s always there for me.. I’m his first priority. He taking so gd care of me even my workshop cleaner kept praising him non-stop.. haa haa.. so funny. . I just hope that things will always stay this way. . recently, I got us both a Adidas jacket.. haa haa.. not exactly the same but both with gold Adidas Logo. He’s jacket is in black and white, mine is black.. haa haa. I’m planning to get us both a Polo Raulph Polo Tee.. hee hee. . than maybe a couple watch and wallet.. slowly slowly..


Got so many things I wanna buy, I’ve just bought PSP slim with DD.. hee hee.. next up is a IPOD haa haa.. and after that a Laptop.. hee hee .. so many stuffs I wanna buy, but no $$ anymore.. sigh…


I enjoy my life now, just that sometimes my mood will get low whenever I think of E. sigh, wonder how can a person being with another for so long ( Its 6 YEARS not 7) but he doesn’t really loves her…


That Questions killed me a lot of times. . . I’m puzzled, there’s so many things I wanna ask him. . he’s always leaving me with plenty of Questions marks . . I felt so lost.. sigh, but that day, saw a drama serial, that monk was saying,: if we have no ans to it, why shld we keep eluding ourself. . for anything, all we need to do is give our best. . the rest just leave it to heaven. . there’s always a plan for each and everyone.


It enlightened me. .haa haa..


Okae I gotta go prepare to go home. Wrote this during office hours le..

Haa haa..

Ciao. Update more another day..


-Eve outy- 071107 1705Hrs

posted by Eve @ 11/09/2007 01:03:00 PM