Prosaic as i am,Tatty as i dealt,Indignation as i felt, and this is how i yelled...

Today was out wit classmates. haa was terribly late. Anw, meetin for lunch but i din ate wit dem cos i oreadi had lunch at home, thus ordered a cold coffee drink instead. save money.... after that went to L's hse to see her new pup. dang how adorable she is !!!!!!! but i'm a lil scarred of dogs. Therefore din relly plae much wit her. Spent roughly an hour at L's Hse, den headed down for a movie. Caught Ladder49. damn,its a terrific show! its a storyline involvin Firemen.. hai.. not very good at description so wun descripe much,but have to comment that it is relly a fabulous show! last but not least,ended the dae by havin dinner at swensen. mmm,as usual ate my fish&chip.. After which,all of us headed home. At the bus, R asked me a Q that sent me ponderin till now.. here goes " Now u can start ur future,with a job" smth like dat, kennt relly rem cos of the bad effect after drinkin coffee. Caffine hit me hard! arggg..

well,jus kennt stop thinkin what's my future is like and i am not wantin to face the reality now. hai,still want to slack ard. But Damn it.. damn the future and burdens... i relly wonder what if i got rejected from NIE.. die ahh,what am i suppose to do? shld i sign up SAF? but i am relly NOT into that post.. hai hai. but what to do,the pay is good.. argg.. i'm soso afraid.. Am scarred to enter that chapter of my life. Have to work and work.. work the sheat out of my life than slog and kill myself.. argg. Den when darlin ORD, he too will enter into workin society,by that tym, will our relationship still b able to persist or will he find sum1 else that is more suitable for him? Cos, he is exposed to more gurls liao.. argg argg.. i'm worried .. i'm sick of jus thinkin of those stuffs.Damn future!

Just now, was tokin wit N regardin guys in Army. Last tym sayin was, that guy will treasure the gf whu went tru NS daes with dem. But now, been witnessin and hearing too much guys dumpin GF after ORD due to more exposure and felt that the other gurl was beta den GF.. Well, N said,heard frm his frd's sergeant, dat guy will prolly MARRY the gf whu went tru NS daes wit the guy. hai, i relly hope that will applies on me cos i'm so sick and tired of relationship. Am not confident to be able to trust and depend on relationship anymore. Most imptly, too tired to start all over again. I relly hope my darling will b the wan proposin to me and the man startin a family wit me.. i noe its hard and a lil impossible,cos dear dear neva mention any future or marriage to me.. but i dun relly intend to get married bt jus hope he'll b the one by my side till da last breath of my life.

hai,now i am sittin here, thinkin of my future.. which kinda seems so bleak.. and dark.. hai, will Darlin be der to hold my hand throughout my upcomin ordeals ? or not ? hai.. what will my future be like.. what will i be next tym? i'm relly terrified to think of my future.. there doesnt seems to be any wae out. argg.. i felt like breakin down now.. why why why ? why do i have to go through this when my real adulthood life hav jus begun? Why do i have to bear so many responsibilities now? Why why why? Why mus u tke my beloved papa awae? Why mus u left me here not knowin and prepared? Why am i so unsure of everything? WHy Why WHy Why ? ? ? ?

Damn my Btch Life !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

posted by Eve @ 11/02/2004 12:49:00 AM